Trayvon, Tebow, and True Worship

Two months ago, only a few knew the name Trayvon Martin. Now he is part of the national conversation. My referencing Trayvon is not about the justice, injustice, or politics of the case. Someone died at the hands of another, and that is tragic for those involved no matter what the circumstances. My point is about worship.

A month after the shooting, many churches focused on the incident in their worship services. For some it was in protest, for others to raise awareness, or to cry for justice. According to the Miami Herald: “In religious centers from Florida to Atlanta, New York and Chicago, messages from pulpits addressed a seemingly avoidable killing that continues to be rife with more questions than answers. Many preachers and their congregations wore hooded sweatshirts in Trayvon’s memory.”

There are two reasons why I didn’t consider doing something like that at King Street’s worship services.
1. It was too soon. The facts were not clear and still are not. They may never be. There was enough unknown and ambiguity to keep me from taking a stand, other than, it is a tragic situation.
2. It puts the focus in the wrong place. I am a zealous guardian of the direction of corporate worship. I don’t want it aimed at a cause or our country or our church or a person or a problem.

Arguably the most definitive statement on worship in the Bible was spoken by Jesus himself in John 4:24, “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”
• Worshiping in spirit is not to be caught up in externals, human things. Genuine worship isn’t a matter of being in the right place, doing the right things. Because God is Spirit, he cannot be confined to a building, an image, a tradition, a style, a culture, or anything physical.
• Genuine worship involves truth. It must be in harmony with what God says is true. It must be based on who God has revealed himself to be, not as we think he ought to be. Scripture must then be our guide, our spell-checker, our rule-book, a centering point.

As much as I admire Tim Tebow, I was a little concerned about his Easter Sunday appearance at a Texas mega-church. Instead of their typical Easter crowd of 10,000, Celebration Church welcomed many more. As NFL.com put it, “New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow drew a crowd of about 15,000 to an outdoor Easter church service.” That was how most new agencies reported it. Tebow was responsible for the gathering, “a big lure for people who would otherwise not have come.” Introducing Tebow, the pastor said, “In Christianity, it’s the Pope and Tebow right now. We didn’t have enough room to handle the Pope.” That’s witty. But is it possible that the event could have been a distraction from true worship?

I would like to meet Tebow. It would be cool to have an event that gathered 15,000 people to hear about Jesus. But the commotion and diversion would threaten to overwhelm worship. Here is the test. Before, during, and after, who are we talking about most: Trayvon, Tebow, or the risen Jesus?

Inexhaustible

Every year I teach a class of prospective Leaders and Elders. We meet a couple of times a month from September to April. For some of the lessons, I teach a method of Bible study. This includes learning how to do word studies using an Exhaustive Concordance.

I don’t always do a good job of it, but my desire is to communicate my passion for studying Scripture. Recently, each of them did a homework assignment on a Bible passage, then shared their work with the rest of the class. They all did a good job.

When they were done, I gave examples of word studies I have used in sermons. One of those examples was from Proverbs 11:24-25. My discovery wasn’t obvious without a little digging, and what I learned challenged my view of generosity.

One of the guys commented that this was another example of how the Bible is inexhaustible. He said: “No matter how much you read it and study it, the Holy Spirit can always teach you something new.” He’s exactly right.

One of the other men said that it was amazing how much there was to discover just in those few words. At face value, that proverb isn’t very exciting or heart-warming. And yet, it contained powerful truths. All that is needed is willingness to invest some time, and openness to the teaching of the Spirit.

You can read about the insights I gained from that passage in Chapter Two of my recent book. [Insert shameless plug here] The book is available in digital format through Kindle. It’s called Soul Food: God’s Nourishment for the Real You.

Thinking back, I started studying the Bible seriously when I was 13 years old. Now after 40 years of study, my awe over the depths of God’s mercy and my delight in his written revelation have only increased. I would sum it up with one word: Inexhaustible.

Unattractive

Since being in Thailand in January, I’ve added a new dimension of communication with my wife. While I was away, our contact was limited to Skype calls at 4 am, or instant messaging. When I sent the messages, I also included a picture of me or my surroundings.

The messaging worked out so well that I have continued to do that at home. Occasionally, I do so even when we are sitting next to each other on the couch. I find the use of satellite technology to cover distances of a few feet to be hilarious.

I told Amy that my plan was to send her a picture of me every day. Each time I would make a different face. There have been some blank days without pictures, and some days with several pictures. The faces are different, and try to capture the essence of the message I send with it.

On Fat Tuesday, I just used my normal expression. Actually, I was trying to puff out my cheeks, but they were puffy already.

On Ash Wednesday, I displayed the ashes on my forehead from our noontime service.

Several times, I’ve sent a picture of me forming a kiss. It’s a hideous sight. The first time I did it I thought That’s horrible, I’d better take another. But it didn’t matter. The sight of me puckering my lips for a kiss is unpleasant. My message read: “I know it’s a little frightening, but this is me kissing you.”

Amy said she wasn’t repulsed. She tried to send me one back. Then, feeling her own picture of forming a kiss was unacceptable, she decided against it.

Isn’t it interesting that expressions of love may not always appear attractive? Some may even seem to be the opposite. But whatever it might look like at first, love always has the loved one’s best at heart. So when someone gently corrects you for a poor attitude, an unwise decision, or wrong word, it might not appear attractive. But it is love in action. When someone calls you out for failing to forgive or for rationalizing your sin, it might look ugly. But love is being expressed.

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:5-6).

Compliments and flattering words are easy to receive. Yet they may not spring from love. In fact, some of the best expressions of love might look unattractive or even cause pain. Real love isn’t always pretty, but it never fails.

 

Dealing with Sinful Anger (part 6)

There are several decisive steps to take to get rid of sinful anger. Part 4 described the need to: Identify who you’re angry with and what they owe you. Part 5 said: Bring it to the Cross and confess. Here is the final step:

Cancel the Debt. Whether your list is one person and one wrong, or 100 people and 1,000 wrongs, cancel it. To get rid of anger you must decide they don’t owe you anymore.  Let me tell you how one man did that. Warren was husband and father in his 30s, with an anger problem. It spilled out against his wife and children, and sometimes at work. After some discussion, we were able to identify that the real anger Warren felt was against his father, who had died years before. As a Christian, Warren had tried to put this behind him. He readily admitted that his outbursts were wrong, and that he was holding on to bitterness. But clearly it was still impacting his life. I urged Warren to write his father a letter. In it, he expressed how his father had wounded him through neglect, affairs, and insulting words. Then he sat facing an empty chair and read that letter as if his dad was sitting there. Then he walked away, went out and burned the letter.

Does that mean all bad memories are erased, and no negative feelings will return? No. But when that crosses your mind again, know that the decision remains and the debt is cancelled through Christ. Remember what Jesus says about asking God to forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors? Canceling the debt we feel others owe us is the path to resolving anger. 

I meet with angry people every single week. Almost always I can agree they have reason to be angry. But storing that anger will destroy them. Scripture says be angry, but don’t sin. Be angry, but don’t let the sun keep going down on that anger. Be angry, but don’t give Satan space in your life.

Resolve anger today.

Dealing with Sinful Anger (part 5)

There are several decisive steps to take to get rid of sinful anger. Part 4 described the need to: Identify who you’re angry with and what they owe you. Obviously you must not stop there. Here is the crucial next step:

Bring it to the Cross and confess. You say, “What do I have to confess about? I didn’t deserve what they did. I’m the one that was hurt. They need to confess.” Whether you are right or wrong to be angry, you need to admit that you are. Your wrongs might be undeserved, but holding on to and storing that anger creates more problems. Ask God’s forgiveness through Christ for harboring anger, giving it space in your life, allowing Satan an advantage.

And when you take an honest look at the list of wrongs that made you mad, you might be able to admit that some of them are really about your own selfishness. You might recognize some of it was because you didn’t get what you wanted (see part 1). You realize that your ego, or greed, or cravings or expectations weren’t met and it left you angry. Bring it to the cross, where God poured out his wrath on sin, and the sacrifice of Jesus brought healing and life when you believed. Hebrews 9:14 says: “the blood of Christ…cleanses our consciences from acts that lead to death.” Confess all your bitterness, rage and anger to the God who forgave you in Christ Jesus. Evaluate life by what was done for you on the cross, instead of what was done to you by others.

There’s one more part in the process. Part 6 presents another decisive step in dealing with sinful anger.

Dealing with Sinful Anger (part 4)

Parts 1-3 identified sinful anger by motive and how it is expressed. The next question is, How do you get rid of sinful anger? There are several decisive steps to take.

Identify who you’re angry with and what they owe you. If you have unresolved anger, and you don’t identify who you are really mad at, you will continue to lash out at others who did nothing wrong. There might be stuff you feel is too far in the past, you’ve moved on, but is that really true? Then get specific about what they owe you. What exactly did they take? What would they need to give you to make things right? An apology? Your childhood? Your reputation? Money? You might say, “There is nothing they could give that would make things right.” But you must get specific about what they owe you, did to you, or didn’t do for you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 shows the need to get rid of anger with forgiveness. Identify who it is you need to forgive and what you need to forgive them for. One Bible teacher states: “General forgiveness does not heal specific hurts.” You might identify one person or situation, or a whole list. This alone can remove some of anger’s power in your life. It is the unspoken, secretness of your anger that is keeping it alive.

Part 5 will present the crucial next step in dealing with sinful anger.

Identifying Sinful Anger (part 3)

How do I know if my anger is right or wrong? It depends upon why I am angry and how I express it. Part 1 dealt with wrong motives for anger. Part 2 dealt with one wrong expression of anger, “blowing-up.” Now consider the opposite approach of “bottling-up” anger.

The “bottle-up” approach is also a sinful expression of anger. On the outside you seem to handle it well, but on the inside you are boiling mad. You might be proud of yourself for keeping it together because you really want to explode. So you hold it in, and anger simmers beneath the surface. While doing less immediate damage to those around you, keeping internalized anger alive in you is unhealthy. When you don’t deal with it, anger simply festers, decays, turns to bitterness, resentment, and eventually expresses itself elsewhere.

This is why Ephesians 4:26 says: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Rather than blowing up or bottling it up, the principle is to deal with it as soon as possible. Dr. Todd Neller pointed me to some research about sleep and long-term memory. The research found that during sleep, memories get consolidated and stored for the longer haul in the neocortex. That transfer of memories from short to long-term storage takes place during slow-wave and REM sleep. Once there memories can last up to a lifetime. So there is some scientifically proven benefit to getting rid of anger before sleep. Letting anger smolder, nursing it along, harboring the hurt is deadly. As someone said: "You won't sleep anger off, you will sleep it in."

So if blowing-up and bottling up are wrong expressions of anger, what should you do with those emotions and hurt feelings? Part 4 will deal with getting rid of anger.

Identifying Sinful Anger (part 2)

How do I know if my anger is right or wrong? It depends upon why I am angry and how I express it. Part 1 dealt with wrong motives for anger. Now consider the wrong expressions of anger.

Sinful Anger Involves Blowing-up. A list of ways anger is wrongly expressed is found in Ephesians 4:31: bitterness, rage, vengeance, emotional outbursts, and harsh words. These are all reactions, damaging to others or ourselves. These reactions don’t provide what others need. When I express anger by exploding and I “blow-up,” that is sinful. Proverbs describes the “blow-up” reaction with words like “hotheaded” “reckless” “quick-tempered” “quarrelsome”. The “blow-up” is when you are furious and let it fly and don’t care who hears or gets hurt. Anger on the inside spills out, and shows on your face, in your words, or by your actions. 

You may have been advised to blow-up as a way to release anger, but that is not a biblical method. Prov. 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Psychotherapist Richard Winter says research shows that venting anger by shouting or hitting a pillow “doesn’t defuse, but may “inflame” anger. 

If blowing up is not usually a biblical way of expressing anger, what about keeping it in? Part 3 will look at “bottling-up” anger.

Identifying Sinful Anger (part 1)

How do I know if my anger is right or wrong? It depends upon why I am angry and how I express it. What does sinful anger look like?

Sinful Anger Involves Not Getting What I Want. James 4 teaches that a big source of conflict in life is: “I want something, but don’t get it.” When I’m mad, it’s embarrassing to realize how many times this is the reason.

I wanted approval, and didn’t get it. I wanted what you have, and didn’t get it. I wanted some attention, and didn’t get it. I wanted the bigger piece, and didn’t get it. I wanted to come in first, and I didn’t get it. I wanted love, and didn’t get it. I wanted someone to say "thanks," or to say "I’m sorry," or to say "you’re right," and didn’t get it.

When I examine why I am angry, hurt, reacting, often the reason isn’t pretty. Deep down it is selfish ambition, jealousy, a sinful craving. When I can identify that as the reason for my anger, the anger is wrong.

Part 2 will discuss wrong expressions of anger.

Tolerating Bedbugs

In an informal survey of 2,000 people, I asked “Which household pests would cause you to pay for an exterminator?”  

“Mice?” Some hands.

“Roaches?” Many hands.

“Bedbugs?” All hands.

Much of that last response was due to peer pressure. If you don’t raise your hand, no one will sit near you.

A more formal survey, done by people who actually count the numbers, found these results.

• About 25% of adults will pay an exterminator to kill spiders or ants.
• When mice, rats, and cockroaches are involved, about half of all adults will pay to get rid of them.
• If termites are discovered, almost 9 out of 10 people will call for an exterminator.
• And then the bedbugs. Researchers found that only 56% will pay to banish bedbugs. That surprised me. Almost half of adults will tolerate bedbugs, rats, and roaches, rather than pay a professional to eradicate them.

There are some pests we tolerate more than others. That is true in my life. There are some sins I won’t tolerate, but others I just live with. Yet Ephesians 4:22 says to put off, get rid of those things that characterize the old self. That old self is made up of the attitudes and emotions and behaviors that are who I am without Jesus. Rom. 8:13 says to put those things to death by the power of the Spirit. There are sins I tolerate and indulge and allow to live on inside of me that God calls me to kill. My tolerance for personal “bedbugs” is alarming.

3 Signs of Unresolved Anger

1. When my response is disproportionate to the problem. Like the Ohio woman who was told she couldn’t get chicken nuggets because McDonald’s was still serving breakfast. She flipped out, threw punches, and broke the drive-thru window. That’s not about McNuggets. When normal inconveniences prompt rage, unresolved anger is spilling out. Eph. 4:31

2. When anger is my default emotion. Whatever your friend says, what the kids do, how your spouse responds, or what the boss requires, it makes you mad. You’re mad a lot. It shows on your face, it comes out in your speech. That’s a sign anger from the past is lurking. Prov. 22:24

3. When I cannot forgive those who wronged me. If you can think of someone who you don’t want to let off the hook, someone you wish the worst, someone whose past behavior dominates your thoughts, you have unresolved anger. Forgiveness is the only way forward. Eph. 4:32