Vicious God: The Problem of Old Testament Violence

How are we to understand the wholesale destruction of cities and people groups that occur in the Old Testament? It is especially difficult when the annihilation of woman and children comes at God’s command. How can this be reconciled with a loving God?

Most, if not all of the horrific violence commanded by God in the Old Testament must be understood in light of Genesis 15. This crucial passage records God’s solemn promise to Abram and his descendents. God cuts a covenant with his chosen friend. He puts his name on the line in promising Abram countless descendants, giving him a people forever, in a land forever. This will be true despite God’s prophecy of (as yet unnamed) Israel’s disobedience and punishment as slaves. Abram will not see these days, nor will he see the fulfillment of the promises in his lifetime. He is promised to die in peace at an old age.

Genesis 15:16 is key to understanding the violence that occurs in the rest of Israel’s ancient history. “In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure." It was not yet time for Israel to possess the promise. One major reason was that the wickedness of the current resident wasn’t complete. The evil of this people group who inhabited Canaan was undeniable, but it had not yet reached the overflow point. This is clearly the way God works throughout Scripture. He provides opportunity to repent.

• Noah preached righteousness during the years he was building the ark.
• Lot lived a righteous life among the people of Sodom.
• Israel marched around Jericho, but only Rahab and her family were saved.

God did not just dispossess an innocent people from the land that was rightfully theirs. After generations of chances, he authorized the removal of a people whose vile practices only became worse and worse. These various people groups who lived in that area God promised to Israel were Canaanites. Their practices of idol worship were detestable, resulting in human sacrifice, ritual prostitution, infanticide (such as throwing children into the fire in honor of the god Molech), violence, and bloodthirsty warfare.

Generations later, Israel returned to the land of promise and began to fulfill Genesis 15.

In Joshua 6: The walls come down and Israel surrounded the city. They simply had to walk over the rubble and obliterate the opposition. The victory was completely accomplished by the hand of God. They were told to destroy everything. Why? There are reasons for the bloodthirstiness of God.

• The detestable pagan practices of the Canaanites would corrupt Israel. God wanted no evil influences, nothing left associated with idol worship.
• This was a culture rife with gross sexual perversions, incest, sorcery, child sacrifice, consulting the dead and must be obliterated.
• This land was given to Israel because these people were so wicked.
• God gave this people group generations to repent, to turn to him, to clean up their act and they did not.

Problems occurred whenever Israel failed to carry out this order of destruction. Judges 1 begins the story of what happens when Israel could not or would not drive out or destroy all the Canaanites. Soon, their influence pervaded God’s people and they began to do the same wicked things. Judges 19 is an extreme case in point. There is no more disgustingly graphic passage, made more horrid because it happens among God’s people. The vileness is highlighted by the fact that those involved have knowledge of the one true God and have benefited from his blessing. This chapter describes what happens when God is pushed into the margins of our lives; when he isn’t the ground of our existence but a supplement; when he is not essential but additional. It describes what happens when evil is allowed room, when we are not ruthless about ridding ourselves of godless, pagan attitudes and practices. The results are always poisonous.

God’s plan rested upon one man, one family, and one nation. We cannot underestimate the extremes to which the enemy would go to stop that plan. All Satan needed to do was stop one man, or late, pollute the chosen family, or later still, sidetrack a nation. The Old Testament is filled with examples of Satan attempting to do that very thing. Genesis 6 is one of the extreme approaches, when the sons of god lusted after the daughters of men and gave birth to a generation of greater wickedness. I see the sons of god as fallen angels, demons seeking to corrupt the chosen line. This situation necessitated the great Flood. God’s promise was on the line, the promise which in fulfillment would bring blessing to the entire world. Anything that threatened that promise must be destroyed. This is why such severe measures are taken throughout the Old Testament. Gleason Archer writes: “In every case the baneful infection of degenerate idolatry and moral depravity had to be removed before the Israel could safely settle down in these regions and set up a monotheistic, law-governed commonwealth as a testimony for the one true God.”

Still, “innocent” people died. War’s damage always extends beyond combatants. How could God order this? The God who loves us so much he sent his Son to die; the God who declared murder to be wrong and hatred to be sin, authorized bloodshed. We must understand the human condition in a biblical context. The Bible clearly states in both Old and New Testament that “There is none righteous.” No one is unworthy of divine punishment, no one is without guilt. Lamentations 3:22 says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed.” In reality, we should be amazed at the mercy of God that doesn’t destroy all of humanity, that he does not immediately judge all sin here and now. We should marvel that he saves his own. In choosing a people, providing a land, and setting up a society, God was doing what he always seeks to do, show the world his glory.

Through God’s incredible and often bloody plan, Jesus the Savior was born. Through his violent and bloody death, the loving God made a way for sinful humanity to find peace. Now that the good news has arrived, God waits. He waits for all who will listen to respond to invitation of salvation. He waits for the filling up of sin in those who refuse to believe. In this day of grace, God waits to judge the wickedness of the world. The God of vengeance, the God who trods the winepress of wrath is going to be revealed again. But no one will be able to claim that they had no opportunity to turn to him. Every mouth will be silenced and the world will be held accountable before him.

Pastor Loses Blind Woman

Ann is a remarkable woman. Sightless, she lives on her own in the suburbs, and works in downtown Chicago. Every morning she walks two blocks to the train station and rides into the city. During the time her mother was dying, Ann was at the bedside as much as possible. The nursing home was about a mile from where Ann lived. One day she planned to come home from work at noon and go be with her mom and dad. Since my office was only one block from the station, I offered to meet the noon train and drive Ann to the nursing home.

I’m dependable. I'm never late. I keep my word. I'm like Maytag. I can be trusted. But that day I was at my desk working hard, when suddenly I remembered. It was 1:00 pm. Already an hour late, I ran to the station and searched. No Ann. I ran out to Main Street frantically looking in all directions. Spotting a police cruiser, I dashed over and blurted these ill-chosen words. “I was supposed to pick up a woman at the train station.” That got their attention, until hearing my story, then the officers lost interest.

After racing in circles for awhile, I ran to my office and called her home phone. No answer. I left a rambling apology on her answering machine. I wondered if it would be used as evidence in the trial. "Pastor admits responsibility for missing blind woman." I did not want to call her dad, find out Ann was not there, and have to confess: “I lost her.”

Eventually Ann called my office to find out if I was alright. My apologies were profuse and heartfelt. Then I said, “I promise I’ll be there tomorrow.” Ann replied, "That’s okay."

Has someone ever broken your trust? Failed to keep a promise? Has there ever been someone you counted on who did not come through? Something you believed in, but it did not work? In those broken promises and failed expectations, God is operating. Every loss invites you to trust in God alone. But sometimes when we lose, we get so fixated on what we've lost, we can't bring ourselves to trust God. We're like Eli who fell over backward and died when he heard that the ark of God had been captured by the enemy. We're like his daughter-in-law whose dying words were "The glory has departed from Israel, for the ark of God has been captured," 1 Samuel 4:22.

If what I lose--job, spouse, health, investment, dream, freedom--causes me to lose hope, then my trust has been misplaced. Every loss invites me to trust in God alone.

A Nail in the Head

Construction worker Patrick Lawler thought he had a toothache. For almost a week, he tried painkillers and ice packs to reduce the swelling. When nothing he did brought relief, he finally went to the dental office where his wife works. Only after the dentist took an x-ray did Patrick learn the true source of the toothache. He had a four-inch nail in his head. The nail had entered through his mouth, just missing Patrick's right eye. Six days earlier, Patrick was working with a nail gun that backfired, and shot the nail into his mouth. But Patrick didn't realize it. He complained of a toothache and blurry vision. He tried soothing the pain with ice cream. But this was a pain that ice cream wasn't going to help. It took four hours of surgery to remove the nail, and Patrick is fine. 


How often have you misdiagnosed your troubles? Trouble is the pain that says, “Stop trying to fix things yourself. Stop medicating the ache away. Stop ignoring the hurt." http://twitpic.com/52rk72 When you come face to face with problems, situations that are infuriating, frustrating, terrifying, confusing, it is so that you will turn to the one you can depend on. Referring to his crushing circumstances the Apostle Paul said: "But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."


Since it is so difficult for me to learn to rely on God, trouble must be my teacher. Sometimes I have to hit a wall in order to realize that my only hope is Christ. Comfort will not overflow in my life until I realize that I depend on the God who raises the dead. Trouble tells me I cannot save myself, but I must turn from self-reliance and rely on the one with resurrection power. 

4 Responses When You Hate Your Job

The majority of people who leave their jobs, do so because of their boss. Whether you have a nasty employer, a soul-sucking job, or a difficult relationship; these 4 possible responses to poor working conditions are relevant. They are illustrated by Jacob (Genesis 31) who had a lousy boss. Even worse, it was his father-in-law.

1. Get Out. You can get so fed up that you just leave. Jacob had reason to do that: bad feelings, unfair treatment, insufficient pay, even God's leading. But he ran like a roach in a restaurant. (Gen. 31:1-18) There are all kinds of reasons to quit a job, end a relationship, leave a church. Be careful, even if you are right, you can do it wrong. We usually exit situations before we ever learn what we should or because we aren't willing to do the hard thing.

2. Get Even. When Jacob left, he took everything he thought belonged to him. His wife Rachel also grabbed a few parting gifts. She stole something of great value. (Gen. 31:19-32) An estimated 75% of all employees steal at least once. How do people justify that? "I didn't get that raise." "I'm not paid overtime." "I do so much for this company and get so little." Getting even is always wrong.

3. Get Mad. Jacob vents. He sounds off, not realizing what his wife had done (Gen. 31:32-37). We don't have all the facts about a situation, even when we know we do. While expressing anger might feel good, it does more harm than good. Yelling, accusing, blaming accomplishes nothing. The Bible says: "Man's anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires."

4. Pursue Peace. How can this be an option when the boss drives you crazy, the company is a heartless machine, your spouse is scary, your in-laws psychotic?

• Define the problem, not the person. Pursuing peace doesn't mean holding your peace, staying silent, avoiding conflict. It is confronting issues openly and honestly. Deal with What and not Why. (Gen. 31:38-42. Don't attribute motives to people when they do stuff you don't like.
• Choose relationship over revenge. Jacob and Laban see the common ground they have as family (Gen. 31:43-55). Maybe you can't work with someone, but don't burn bridges. 
• Fear God most of all. (Gen. 31:53) No matter how the other party acts, you are ultimately out to please God. When injustice happens, when you don't get a fair deal, you know that even if it never gets resolved now, there is a day coming when all will be made right.

Though you are tempted to get out, get even, or get mad, know that in every situation, the Lord Jesus has empowered you to pursue peace. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

3 Critical Questions for Life's Direction-Part 3

3. Where am I headed?

Proverbs 14:2"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."

Destination is all important. Not all roads are equal. Not all directions will end up where you should be. The destination question is not to be ignored. The fool is deceived by thinking the destination doesn’t matter. All of us can get wrapped up into doing what seems best for us, what looks the nicest, the safest, the easiest, the most rewarding. But you are only judging the way, the immediate journey. To focus on the way that seems right to you, will end in death. Because when it comes to ultimate things, you and I don’t have the right answers. The destination is wrong and the result is fatal. It’s a dead end.

No matter how life goes now, if you don’t have the right answer to the Where am I headed question, death is your future. You might be answering that question with, “I’m a pretty good person”. That’s a death sentence. Or you might say, “I like my life. Things will turn out okay.” That’s a dead end. Or “I’m a church-goer.” Or “I don’t worry about it. Whatever happens happens.” Or “I’m just enjoying the journey.” Death, death, death.

I need to warn those of you who are headed the wrong way. You think everything is fine. But I beg you to consider the direction of your life. This may be one more time when God is calling you. He may use this to get you thinking, so you will start considering the destination of the road you are on. Or this may be your only chance. This may be the last time you have the opportunity to hear that there is one right way, by grace through faith in Jesus. Don’t miss it. Don’t ignore it. Don’t lie to yourself. This is the day you need to change the very direction of your life. There is only one right destination, everything else ends in death.

These are the critical questions you and I need for life’s direction.

·         What am I doing? It’s too easy not to be righteous, or real. I need to stop lying to myself and reflect on my moral choices.

·         Who am I listening to? It’s too easy to hear what I want to hear, and accept without verifying. I need to consider things carefully in light of God’s truth.

·         Where am I headed? It’s too easy to ignore that, and to do whatever seems good to me. I need to turn to the one who is the way.

My 16-year-old daughter has a little saying she uses on me from time to time. She says, “You’re a good man with a bright future.” I believe she is trying to encourage me. She may sense I’m feeling down about things, and this is her way of giving me a pep talk. At first I argued with her a bit. “My future’s all behind me,” I said. She pointed out that this was impossible. To use her words, "All of your future is still in front of you...no matter how short it may be." Having affirmed the truth of the statement, she repeats, “You’re a good man with a bright future.” I must have appeared to be having a rough week last week. She said it three different times. 

Here’s the truth, the real goodness in me is because of Jesus. The only reason my future is bright is because of Jesus. What about you?

3 Critical Questions for Life's Direction-Part 2

According to Proverbs, the way we approach every day, and the way we are headed will show whether we are wise or foolish. So how do we know if we are walking in wisdom or wallowing in foolishness? Proverbs 14 gives three critical questions for life’s direction. 

2. Who Am I Listening to? 

Proverbs 14:15 "A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps."

Wise people look below the surface. They aren’t taken in by a few words, or deceived by appearances. The foolish hear what they want to hear, and believe “anything” is literally every word. Uncritical acceptance of what you hear is unwise.

“But it was in the newspaper.” I have been interviewed many times by everything from local newspapers to national media outlets. What ended up being published or broadcast ranged from slightly inaccurate to absolutely false. I’ve never been able to say, “That’s exactly what I said and meant.” It has nothing to do with media bias, as much as human error and incompetence.

“But my Pastor said it.” Do not uncritically accept what you hear from anyone. Pastors make mistakes like everyone else. Some of them are absolute knuckleheads. Whether it’s burning the Koran, or holding a “bring your gun to church” day, or having a worship service that is really just a political rally, or using obscene language, or acting like a dictator, don’t believe every word without verifying. 

Wisdom looks below the surface. If someone has told you their side of the story, do not get all excited and make judgments without something from the other side. Even if that person is a completely innocent victim, rarely will they be able to give a completely accurate and unbiased version. The old saying goes, “There are always two sides, no matter how thin the pancake.” 

If you only get your news from Fox or MSNBC, branch out. If there is a talk show that you listen to that is seen as right-wing or left wing, expand your options.

Forwarding false information through email is epidemic among Christians. If you accept everything someone says because they mention Jesus, quote the Bible, says God told them, or claim to be a Christian, you are a fool. 

Too many Christians are sloppy thinkers and lazy fact-checkers. We need to be like that group of people the Apostle Paul taught, the folks from Bera. They loved what Paul had to say. They were excited about it. But every day they searched the Bible to verify that it was true.

A critical question for the direction of your life is Who Am I Listening To?

3 Critical Questions for Life's Direction-Part 1

According to Proverbs, the way we approach every day, and the way we are headed will show whether we are wise or foolish. So how do we know if we are walking in wisdom or wallowing in foolishness? Proverbs 14 gives three critical questions for life’s direction.

1. What Am I Doing? 

Proverbs 14:8 "The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception."

It matters which job you take, who you marry, when to retire, where to go to school. Most of us would take time to consider those kinds of decisions. But it also matters if you should call in sick today, if you’re going to be friendly or grumpy, if you finish your assignment on time or blow it off, if you buy this cell phone plan, or that outfit, if you go away this weekend, or attend that event, if you have that difficult conversation or avoid the conflict. The more of those kinds of things you do without consideration, the more foolishly you live. For me to give thought to my ways, I need to be concerned about a couple of things: is it righteous and is it real?

·         Is it righteous? Proverbs is all about the way of the righteousness. Doing what is straight, upright, conscious of God. What I do day in and day out must take God into account, and stay true to him. I must consider, is this righteous, is this consistent with being right with God?

·         Is it real? It is human nature to lie to yourself. That deception is the folly of fools. You may tell lies to others, but mainly you tell them to yourself. They are lies you need to believe, so you can do what you want. Your lies may sound like this: “I deserve a little reward” “Just this once won’t matter” “I’m not afraid of commitment” “I’m just blowing off steam” “What they don’t know won’t hurt them” “This will be better for the kids” “It really doesn’t bother me at all.” “There’s nothing wrong” “I don’t need anyone else” “No one cares about me” “There are some people that you just can’t love” “I deserve better than this” “It’s just sex” “I never inhale” “If I ignore this, it will go away” “I’m married, not dead.” “It’s none of your business” “I’m not addicted” “It’s no big deal” “No one will ever know.” With those kinds of lies, you fool yourself. So what you do isn’t real. It isn’t based on truth. Stop believing your own lies.

The wise give moral reflection, the foolish are mentally dishonest. The wise give consideration to what they do, making sure it lines up straight, asking, is it righteous? They wise refuse to accept their own lies, asking it is real? 

The first critical question for life's direction: Is What I'm Doing Righteous and Real?

When Ministry Goes to the Dogs

Frederic Gaillard grew tired of talking about the dogs.

Gaillard is a monk at the hospice of St. Bernard, in the Swiss Alps. The dogs of St. Bernard have been the stuff of legend, rescuing snowbound travelers, injured climbers, and avalanche victims; and they carried out their mission while toting a cask of brandy around their necks. These huge heroic animals have been linked to St. Bernard by name and popular imagination since 1695 a.d. But in September 2004, Gaillard announced that the eighteen St. Bernard dogs would have to go.

When people heard the monks were selling their dogs, they were horrified. It was unthinkable heresy. To many it was no different than saying there would be no more Swiss chocolate, or Swiss bank accounts. So Father Gaillard has been deluged with phone calls and media requests, asking him to explain himself.

Gaillard gave a few good reasons why St. Bernard monks had no more need for a canine namesake. For one thing, the monks were overwhelmed with the work. Each of the eighteen dogs eats four to five pounds of food a day, and needs regular vigorous exercise. Since the number of monks keeps decreasing, the workload kept getting heavier.

In addition, St. Bernards are no longer needed for rescuing the stranded. Helicopters are much faster. And when dogs are needed, the local rescue squad uses German shepherds and Labradors because they fit into the helicopter.

This story grabbed my attention when I read Father Gaillard's bottom line reason for getting rid of the dogs. The St. Bernards were a distraction from the ministry to actual people. "We think it's better to spend more of our time listening to people," Gaillard said. The dogs "take up too much energy. It's people that need us."

St. Bernards hospice was founded in 1050 a.d., some 650 years before the first dog showed up. But for the last 300 years the hospice has been mostly about dogs. The monks spent their time cleaning kennels, buying dog food, breeding and selling puppies. At first, this was a justifiable part of their mission. Those dogs were essential in rescuing people caught in the snowy alpine pass. But a St. Bernard had not been used in a rescue attempt in more than 50 years. All that remained was tradition, memories, and eighteen vinyl record dogs in a compact disk world.

I constantly wonder where the St. Bernards in the church are hiding. What are those methods we cling to that once had a purpose, but no longer? Where are the programs that once served us well, but now require resources just to keep alive?

May God help us to keep focused on our original calling and not to expend energy in caring for rescue dogs that no longer rescue. May he give us wisdom to recognize things that have outlived their effectiveness and courage to remove whatever may distract from our purpose. No “kennel” is worth more than the Kingdom.

The Crazier the World, the More Stable the Christian

Have you ever been forwarded an email with an amazing story that turned out to be false? It happens every day. Especially with Christians. Like the one about hell.

In 1984, a scientific journal reported on scientists drilling in Russia who encountered rare rock formations, and temperatures of 180 degrees. But soon, stories began circulating that the scientists had drilled through to hell, and that screams of condemned people could be heard from the well. The temperature was reported to be, not 180, but 2,000 degrees. Trinity Broadcasting Network picked up the story “Scientists Discover Hell.” A visiting school teacher heard it, wrote about it to a Christian magazine in Finland who published it. From there the tale was repeated in missionary newsletters, in evangelistic sermons, and by a number of Christian publications. For example, the Weekly World News ran the story in 1992, but this time reported that it happened in Alaska, and that 13 oil rig workers were killed when the Devil came roaring up out of the ground.

This is my regular appeal that you don’t contribute to passing along false stories, no matter how exciting they may sound. Don’t forward stuff you can’t verify. Don’t share information that is not true. This is counterproductive to our mission. It is exactly the kind of thing we are warned about in Scripture when it comes to end time events.written by the apostle Paul under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is to the Christians living in the Greek city of Thessalonica. They are going off the deep end, because they are misinformed and misunderstand what God says regarding the future. They were forwarded a false message. So the Apostle wrote this letter is to get them on track, and keep them focused on the right things. Any of us who follow Jesus need that same stability and guidance today.

vv.1-2 “Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you, brothers, not to become easily unsettled or alarmed by some prophecy, report or letter supposed to have come from us, saying that the day of the Lord has already come.” 

Behind Every Disturbance Is a Lie

False reports were circulating in the church. Someone had stood up in the service and made a prophecy that the end times had already started. Or the preacher said in his sermon that according to Paul, Jesus’ returned already. Or a letter with Paul’s name on it was being passed around that said the second coming already happened. The church was all upset. They were shaken and frightened. But it was a lie. Paul says, I don’t care where you heard it, it isn’t so. It doesn’t matter who said it, it isn’t true.

In our day it could be a website, an email, an ebook, a blog, a video that creates a disturbance in the church. John Piper says: “Behind every disturbance is a lie.” God wants his people to be calm, stable, composed especially when the world is going crazy. When we are not, it is usually because we have been deceived. If there is emotional upset, ask yourself, What lies am I believing? How have I been deceived? The lie might be that God isn’t in control. The lie might be that you have to save yourself, that it all depends on you. The lie might be that you are alone, without hope, out of options. The only way to combat the lies is with God’s truth. Cling to the truth, believe the truth, and face all situations with grace and peace.

Wonder Bread, Twinkies, and Jesus

The bakery that produced Twinkies and Wonder Bread, filed for bankruptcy in 2004. Reasons for the financial failure were attributed both to the Low-carb craze going on at the time, and basic concerns over nutrition. Wonder Bread was a top seller for 87 years. Kids loved it. They could roll it into little balls. Every piece of bread was identical. 

Some might baulk at identifying the mass-produced, over-processed Wonder Bread as bread. It is about as close to real bread as Twinkies are to vegetables. Regardless, we can agree that every people-group has some sort of bread as a staple of their diet. 

Jesus calls himself real bread, the genuine satisfier, the staple of life, the true wonder bread; the only source of spiritual nourishment. "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty," John 6:35. But you must believe. Come to Jesus with a believing heart and you will never hunger or thirst again. He must be your salvation and sustenance. Jesus repeats several times: Feed on me and live forever, John 6:51. This goes beyond meeting basic needs. He’s not talking about a full stomach. This is about completely satisfying the bigger issues of life: the hunger of significance, the longing to be free, the desire to be loved, the craving for relief and rest, the need for forgiveness, the hunger for joy and peace, an eternal satisfaction. Jesus is claiming to fulfill our deepest, forever needs.

We fill up on so many other things. We chew on success, gnaw on money, savor pleasure, relish relaxation—all fine things, but they ruin our appetite for the true bread. We live in a culture constantly tempting us to be satisfied with stuff that doesn’t last. We must keep filling up on Jesus through worship, obedience, talking to him and hearing what he’s saying to us. Keep Feeding.

 

Satisfaction comes when I consume Christ continuously.

Risking Approval and Risking Control

Many of our sinful tendencies can fall into one of two categories: wanting approval or wanting control. Approval is your desire to be liked. Control is your desire to be in charge. 

I confess that I want approval. But there is a problem that comes with that. If you live for approval, then your life is tied to that desire to be liked and that limits your effectiveness as a friend, leader, neighbor, and parent. It limits you when you refuse to give constructive criticism because you don’t want to upset anyone. Valuable insights, counsel, or instruction you should give is not shared because you don’t want to risk offending anyone. You avoid hard conversations that deep down you know you should have. You are being kept from godly confrontation and loving correction by your desire for approval. You aren’t transparent about your failings. No one knows how or if you have ever struggled. You don’t share these details with anyone, because you want them to think highly of you. If there is no other person who knows your temptations and shortcomings and sins, that may be a sign of your unwillingness to risk approval. It may also be seen in how you respond to criticism. None of us love criticism. It can hurt, especially if it is destructive or mean-spirited. But if all criticism shatters you, if you are crushed by it, the reason is because the approval of others has become too important. 

One sign that I’m caught up in looking for approval is that I over commit. I used to work 80 plus hours every week. Why? There’s so much work to do. Yes, but even 80 hours didn’t get it done. Why was I really doing that? I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I was out to prove that I was needed, and competent, and invaluable. Is it possible that some of your activity is about proving yourself? But if I am going to deny myself, and follow after Jesus, I must risk losing the approval of others.

The other tendency is about wanting control. We are less likely to admit this. That desire is also harder to recognize in ourselves than it is to identify in others. But some of us lead, or carry out relationships, or do ministry in a way that holds on to as much power and control as possible. It may be because you like to do your own thing. You like to call the shots. The reality is that if you follow Christ, self-interest cannot be your guiding principle. To deny yourself and follow Jesus means that you risk losing that control. Or maybe your desire for control comes from fear. You’re afraid of losing your position, your status, the respect, the relationship. Or you might deep down be afraid of the involvement and ideas of others. So you dominate, attack, act defensively, use sarcasm, and self-justification. 

Church leaders who want control tend to villainize outsiders, other organizations, and leaders. If you are always raising the alarm, identifying enemies, and drawing a tight circle around your ministry as the one with truth while the rest are suspect, that is a sure sign of wanting control. But Christ calls us to risk our desire for control and fear and self-interest. Unless I do so, my soul grows weak and weary, and my communications become anemic or caustic.

Excerpt from Soul Food: God's Nourishment for the Real You (Tablet Press, 2011, John Henry Beukema)