Some of us live in a state of exhaustion. Why are we working so hard? Ask yourself if your weariness has anything to do with trying to make everybody happy. Perhaps one reason you work so hard is to keep others from being disappointed, to satisfy their complaints, and so they will not think less of you or who you represent.
Nothing will change for the better, until you constantly ask yourself who you are trying to please and why. As a Christian and as a pastor, there is only one right answer. I always work hard and do my best, but no one else, other than God, knows my limits. Only I know the totality of my job. Instead of trying to satisfy everyone’s expectations, I resign myself to the fact that some people are going to be disappointed in me. But as long as I am doing my best before God, I am much more able to live with that. I set limits for what I will or won’t do and try to stick with them. If there are expectations that go outside those limits, then I will compensate in another way.
For years I lived with people putting guilt on me to change my vacation, to disappoint my family, to work 7 days, to do them ‘just this one favor’. Now I refuse to let that guilt control or motivate me. I limit the number of evenings I will go out in a week. I limit the number of outside speaking engagements I will do in a year. I limit the number of responsibilities I accept. I am very careful about responding to “emergencies.” Because I have found that there are far fewer emergencies than people think that cannot wait until morning. “I’m sorry, but I’m not available right now” works great.
No one else can do that for you. No one else will stop your self-destruction. Instead they will applaud your work ethic all the way to your grave. So when someone comes at me with an expectation or a request, I first filter it through the “who am I trying to please and why” question. If I know God is satisfied with me, what else matters?
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